'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize