Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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