to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
