absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
25 People Confess The Most Ignorant Thing Someone Has Ever Said To Them
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
27 Signs That Someone Will Probably Be Bad At Sex
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.