I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
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a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
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A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.