Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her