We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
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the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
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We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum