The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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