It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
My vagina just recognized that song.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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