I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize