you guys were way drunker than both of me
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
