i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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