Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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