so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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