He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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