Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize