dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
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That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
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I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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