dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
