I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I understand Curling. That high.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
