I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
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how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
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Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
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