Midget sex pt 2 tonight
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
