So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize