Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize