my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
