We won't sleep together?
i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
where are my eyebrows?
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