Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize