At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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