I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
