gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
