I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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