Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Please don't give away my fajitas
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
