I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
