eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
