glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Randomize
