Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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