I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
