There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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