I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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