guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
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