he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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