I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
