Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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