You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
