just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize