And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
