I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
