Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Randomize
