I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
