Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
