the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
