I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
