I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Randomize