We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
