Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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