Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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