The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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