yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
