Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
