Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
