At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
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