If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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