so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
