I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Randomize
