no, he came in my armpit
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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