Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
