On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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