Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
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He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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