sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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