forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
