She's JV to your varsity
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015