I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize