but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
