I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
