what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
