batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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