Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
