with your own penis?
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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